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Gender with Poly Speed DatingIt is very important to us that we promote inclusive events. There are myriad methods of gender identification, and there are many issues regarding how people date and relate across and among gender lines. We thus have left self-identification fairly open. There are five categories, and you should check off all the categories you feel that you are. When people indicate what they are looking for, they check off any categories they are open to. We then match people if there are no aspects of who they are that are not being looked for by the other side.The five categories are "Male", "Female", "Trans Male", "Trans Female", and "Genderqueer/Other". Trans Men identify as men. Trans Women as women. Genderqueer is a more general moniker indicating a general fluidity with (or rejection of) gender. Often genderqueer people will also have a primary gender that they identify as. People can also use "genderqueer" to indicate that they are more comfortable with people who explore their sexual orientation or gender identity. Our understanding can be summarized in the following rule: You will only be matched with people who are looking for all the things that you identify as. Or,You will never be matched with people who have checked off a category that you have not said you are open to. And finally:Don't say you are open to trans or genderqueer people unless you actually are! It is not fun for people to go on dates with people clearly not interested in them a priori.We are not allowing matching on "bisexual" or "pansexual". We feel it is enough to say the sorts of people you want, gender-wise, and then match those potentials with you if they want you, gender-wise, back. We are taking the position that the sorts of people you want does not make up part of what gender you are. We currently do not have an "intersex" gender category. Reasons for that are discussed here. In short, intersexed people may identitfy as one or multiple genders, and we hope they will fill their forms out accordingly. We feel that the important thing to focus on for Poly Speed Dating purposes is the person's gender identity and presentation, which is why we have not made Intersexed a category choice. ExamplesHere are some examples to illustrate:Generic Man HuntIf you are looking for men, and check off "males" and nothing else, then you will not be matched with someone who identifies as both a man and a woman, nor would you be matched with someone who identifies as either a transgendered or genderqueer man.Outside of GenderIf you do not believe in male and female as gender, and thus select Genderqueer, and nothing else, as your identified gender, then you will match anyone who has checked off "genderqueer" for who they are looking for, regardless of what other boxes they checked off. Of course, if you also tell us you are only looking for men, then you will only get men who meet this criterion.BoisA Boi might identify as a woman and a genderqueer. They would probably say they are only looking for women. They would then only get women who have checked off at least the woman and the genderqueer boxes.Female to Male TranssexualYou might select "Male" and "Trans Male." You might also select "GenderQueer" if you wanted to indicate a general fluidity with gender, or wanted to date people who tended to enjoy gender as something more open or vague. You might only select "Trans Male" and not "Male" if you felt there were people (who you wanted to date) that would date Trans Men but not Biological Men (and indeed, there are such people).Or, if you felt that you were simply male, you might select just "Male." The risk here is being matched with people who were not so tolerant, which would be a waste of your time. You might then also check "GenderQueer" as a filter. Please e-mail us if there is an issue or if there is something we should know! |
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